Welcome Mortal

Lest you stumble upon us this day or eve, we bid you welcome... for you are not just here to explore Aiden, but you are here to expose and discover his very soul to you. Should a soul he still contain.Well then... go on... seek him.


BIOGRAPHY of . . .

Aiden "The Rose" Wolf

Name: Aiden "The Rose" Wolf
Age: Unknown
Race: Viera
Gender: Male
Height: 180cm (5'11")
Weight: 70kg (155lbs)
Frame: Slender & Fit
Eye Color: Blood Red
Hair Color: Varies
City-State: Wanderer
Class: Monk, Bard
Blood Type: A+
Sun Sign: Leo
Eastern Zodiac: Rabbit
Discord: aiden.wolf
Playersync: AidenWolf



Aiden works within The Sect as an Enforcer, and lives within the Shoku as a Chemist.

embrace him . . .

General Personality

Aiden is quiet by nature, but never forgettable. He carries himself with a composed sort of confidence, the kind that does not need to beg for attention in order to command it. Loyal, creative, and deeply observant, he tends to notice more than he says, preferring to move with intention rather than noise.Though introverted, Aiden is not passive. He has a natural instinct for leadership and will often assume control when a situation demands steadiness, precision, or strength. He is disciplined, exacting, and often harder on himself than he is on others. When things fall out of place, so too can his composure. Stress weighs on him heavily, and perfectionism can sharpen both his sensitivity and his temper.At his best, Aiden is dependable, passionate, and fiercely devoted. At his worst, that same intensity can make him rigid, proud, and difficult to sway.


Romantic Personality

Aiden loves with depth, not carelessness.He is attentive, affectionate, and deeply protective of those he allows close, often expressing devotion in ways that are both tender and intense. He is not built for shallow attachment, and when his heart is invested, it invests fully. He can be possessive at times, and jealousy is not foreign to him, though it stems less from pettiness and more from the depth with which he bonds.Aiden is pansexual, demisexual, and polyamorous with a primary life partner. While he may share affection or intimacy with others, bloodbinding is sacred to him and reserved only for the one he has chosen wholly. It is not a gesture he offers lightly, nor one he separates from trust, significance, and emotional weight.


Flaws and Weaknesses

For all his charm, Aiden is not gentle in every corner of himself.He can be stubborn, arrogant, and at times emotionally difficult to reach. When wounded, stressed, or pushed too far, he may become cold, aloof, abrasive, or overbearing. He does not always bend easily, and his pride can make vulnerability harder for him than it should be.There are moments when he becomes too rigid in his thinking, too sharp in his delivery, or too absorbed in his own sense of control. Though capable of great tenderness, Aiden is not without edge, and those edges can cut when handled poorly.


Miscellaneous Information

Alignment: Neutral
Skillset: Manipulation, intimidation, adaptation, charm, and allure. Aiden is skilled at extracting information, applying pressure, and reading a situation quickly enough to turn it to his advantage. He is cunning, stealthy, and moves through both conversation and shadow with ease.
Purpose: To serve. Aiden takes deep pleasure in pleasing his hierarchy and fulfilling the role expected of him with devotion and precision.

Music bends the soul . . .

Aiden's Playlist

There are some things a soul reveals more easily through music than through confession.This collection is less a simple playlist and more a mirror of Aiden’s inner world. Hunger dressed in elegance. Beauty laced with ruin. Restraint trembling over something ancient and aching. Each song gathered here speaks to a different facet of him, whether it be the quiet violence of becoming, the seduction of power, the grief of memory, or the tenderness that somehow survives beneath it all.These are not merely songs that suit him.
They are songs that sound like him.


"Ego Death"

Polyphia feat. Steve Vai

Aiden’s central theme. Exquisite, intricate, and almost unbearably controlled, Ego Death feels like the architecture of his soul laid bare. It is beauty under pressure, collapse rendered graceful, and the unbearable elegance of surviving one’s own unraveling. If there is a single song that captures what it means to be Aiden, it is this one.


"Ascensionism"

Sleep Token

This is hunger adorned in silk. Ascensionism carries the shape of Aiden’s seduction, his power, and the dangerous tenderness with which he loves. It feels like devotion on the verge of becoming possession, desire entwined with reverence, and the quiet moment where intimacy begins to blur into control.


"Change (In the House of Flies)"

Deftones

A song for transformation and estrangement. Change embodies the sorrow of becoming something at once beautiful and terrible, and the distance that grows between the self one remembers and the self one has become. It feels like Aiden standing at the threshold of his own undoing, unable to return, unable to look away.


"In the Woods Somewhere"

Hozier

This is hunger adorned in silk. Ascensionism carries the shape of Aiden’s seduction, his power, and the dangerous tenderness with which he loves. It feels like devotion on the verge of becoming possession, desire entwined with reverence, and the quiet moment where intimacy begins to blur into control.


"Illusion"

VNV Nation

The heart beneath the ruin. Illusion feels like the part of Aiden that remains tender despite everything, the soul that still grieves, still longs, still hopes in ways that make immortality all the more painful. It is the sound of his softness enduring where it has every reason not to.

Behind the curtain . . .

Out of Character

So who am I? I am nobody special. Just another person in the world trying to find a little entertainment in the cesspool of life. I am in my 30's and I don't think it matters whether /I/ am a man or a woman, Aiden should be seen as a male.



Behind the Creation:

Aiden was a fever dream for me. Having been suppressed in my current relationship at the time, I created a secret RP character. He could do and be everything I couldn't do or be, and that made him very special.The creation of Aiden freed me from feeling suppressed and allowed me to spread my creative wings again. When I couldn't do it on my main character, I could do anything I wanted with Aiden. Be anybody I wanted to be. Try different things, fail at them, learn what I liked and what I didn't like. Learning RP. Experimenting with ERP (which I realized I am very selective with). Everything was open. I am still learning and growing with Aiden. He is my living RP story.


Behind the Look:

Aiden is no basic male viera, he has a sculpt, custom hair, custom make-up, custom eyes, and a c+ modification. You cannot find his mods on XMA, and I won't be listing or sharing them, ever. Sorry folks, but this is one WCIF that I won't be helping with. Aiden is /my/ baby, and I don't want to see another one of him running around out there in the world.


Behind the Role-Play:

I am not Aiden, and Aiden is not me.
He will never be me, and I him.
Aiden is his own entity.
When I am RPing as Aiden, I am still me on the other side of the screen, with my own thoughts and feelings outside of what Aiden feels and thinks. It is "play pretend" when playing as Aiden, and there is no confusion regarding this.If you cannot accept this or do not understand, then we should not RP together.

Exposed behind the lens . . .

The Gallery: SFW

Exposed behind the lens . . .

The Gallery: NSFW

Aiden's Story beings here . . .

The Everliving Story

Aiden's story is ever-living, which means it will be constantly added onto. Whether he comes across an interesting organization, runs into another vampyr, or perhaps even you... should you leave a lasting impression upon him.

The Archive:

His Writings:

The Prologue . . .

The Depth of One's Own Heart

Aiden was not born a vampire, and was instead born into this world during a time of peace and prosperity. Eyes of bright blue wonder and hair black as night.As part of a clan that would constantly roam, he was not tasked with much as a child, though he would see everyone else around him working as hard as they could to make sure others and himself could eat well every day. This carved discipline and respect into his mind.He was only five when the Wars broke out against the factions of the world, and Aiden's Mother, Mara, would not be able to protect him under her love for long. Aiden's clan was able to reach Thanalan, but not before they were all mauled to death by the beast-tribesmen waiting to ambush them around the outskirts of Ul'dah.Left alone in the wilderness as his clan's sole-survivor, Aiden was on the brink of death, when a thaumaturge happened upon him, saving his life. This young female lalafellen, Nobubu, would become his caretaker for the remainder of his young life.


The Maw of One's Own Rage

Aiden was a great and hard worker. Nobubu, was a proud caretaker of this one.He would constantly make varying delivery and potion runs for the thaumaturge guild as a young boy, aged fifteen now, Nobubu would recall how quickly Viera aged. Bright-hearted with light steps, Aiden often made others smile during his deliveries.One day, Aiden bumped into a cloaked patron on the street by accident, emphatically apologetic was Aiden, though the menacing cloaked man cared not for Aiden's apology--as whatever fell from his hands had shattered upon hitting the ground, enraging the cloaked figure.The entire Merchant's Guild of Sapphire Row would hold this cloaked man back from attempting to shatter Aiden as he would flee back to the Thaumaturge's guild. Aiden explained the situation to Nobubu who in turn gathered the rest of the thaumaturge mages to make a stance in central Ul'dah to protect young Aiden.For what Aiden had shattered... unbeknownst to him, was an Auracite crystal. And the cloaked man, an Ascian!


The Void of Emptiness

Magic clashed and sparked within Ul'dah herself! Raging fireballs and blizzards casting around civilians--the thaumaturges were protecting Aiden from an Ascian but to no avail--they were not strong enough.The young boy, hidden behind some barrels of grain and rice watched as each of his friends felled to this black hooded man.Nobubu reached out her hand and motioned for Aiden to run, to get help, as the Ascian behind her struck down another thaumaturge. She knew she would be next. Aiden froze. How could he leave them? This was all his fault. -- Is all that would run through the boy's mind.The Ascian gathered the thaumaturges in the central area of the city and roared. Nobubu, the last thaumaturge standing held out her oak wand and lifted her shield, she began to channel a spell most Foul. The Ascian jolted out a spell and Aiden ran in front taking the hit with his fists. This only sent the boy back a few feet with little damage to him.Nobubu, surprised by Aiden's resilience to the Ascian's magic, requested that he help hold off the Ascian so that she may be able to channel her spell to send him back to whence he came. Aiden complied and would hold off the Ascian."Enough of this!" The Ascian began to channel "Triple Spark" onto Nobubu. "No!" Aiden would throw himself in front of Nobubu taking the hit and being sent into a couple of walls. Nobubu was almost done casting--and with all her might and magic, she would unleash it upon this Ascian. The skies grew dark above Ul'dah, "DESPAIR!" -- Nobubu screamed out at the Ascian, as he would be hit with a most powerful spell not yet seen before.Nobubu ran around the wreckage, attempting to find Aiden, but instead found the other thaumaturgests, who were not in great shape. By the time she found Aiden, he had been ripped apart from the magic of the Ascian. He was just a small boy after all. But he was special, Nobubu knew this.Nobubu gathered Aiden's severed limbs and brought in several chiurgeons to keep the boy alive under any and all circumstances. Nobubu, saved all the other thaumaturgists with her powerful potions. And with the power of the Twelve, Nobubu began to channel a spell most powerful. Not unlike the one that made the Ascian completely disappear. She empowered the remaining thaumaturgists, who were just healed to full, to help Aiden.Aiden, now laying in pieces displayed, Nobubu spoke to him; "You were our shield when we needed you, now, become The Shield for the rest of Eorzea!" Nobubu began to channel into Aiden, and the rest of the thaumaturges followed. Expending their magicks entirely, until they fell to the ground one by one, expending their energies into Aiden, mending him. The body pieces of the young boy began to slide together, stitching themselves. The void-touched pieces turned all black. Aiden now looked like some cross-stitched monster.After Aiden was fully healed, Nobubu collapsed. Dead. She had expelled the last of her Aether, her very life force into Aiden. They all did. All of the thaumaturges... were dead. As Aiden arose from the stone platform, the dead thaumaturges laying around him, he thought he had failed everybody. Everyone else who had been hiding and watching... were now too afraid to approach Aiden, ever again. They did not understand what they had just witnessed.Just a boy of sixteen, Aiden looked over his now misshapen body full of magical stitches and black voided out skin spots. He held Nobubu's small lifeless body in his arms, the only memory of a Mother he ever had. The pain and ache in his chest was too much to bear and he wailed outward, into the night sky, as a crackle of purple lightning struck down upon him--a purple and blue bubble formed around him and Nobubu. It would disperse and cause a ripple of a wave of destruction flowing outward from them. The Veil had formed over him.

Just one look . . .

Aiden at a Glance

- Aiden Wolf is an ageless vampyr, eternally poised in the beauty of twenty eight.
- He does not know who turned him, and the night his mortal life ended remains lost to him.
- He is sustained by blood and magic, though it is the Veil that tempers what his curse would otherwise make unbearable.
- The Veil is more than protection. It is a hush laid over suffering, dulling pain, quieting hunger, and preserving what remains of his composure.
- He is not easily destroyed, though he is far from untouchable. Aiden may be wounded, restrained, and made to suffer, but not so easily erased.
- He does not bloodbind lightly. Such intimacy is sacred to him, reserved only for the one he has chosen wholly.
- Much of his past lies in fragments, obscured by absence, silence, and the things even he cannot remember.
- At his heart, Aiden is a creature of restraint. Hunger lives within him, as does loneliness, yet so too do tenderness, mercy, and the remnants of a mortal conscience.


What forms him . . .

Aiden's Condition

Aiden is not defined by a single affliction, but by several forces working in tandem.He is a vampyr, sustained by hunger, blood, and unnatural resilience. He is also the bearer of the Veil, an ancient protective spell woven into his body after the tragedy that left him in pieces at sixteen years of age. The Veil is what keeps those pieces together. It conceals the truth of his body beneath glamour, preserves what would otherwise come apart, and suppresses suffering that might have driven him mad long before now.Together, the Veil and vampyrism shape the version of Aiden known to the world. One is the curse. The other is the restraint.


Protection, even from himself . . .

Understanding The Veil

The Veil is the magic responsible for holding Aiden's body together.After the tragedy of his youth, his body was left ruined, his limbs only able to remain intact through the continued power of the spell cast upon him by Nobubu and the thaumaturges who gave their lives and aether so that he might survive. Because of the Veil, the seams across his body are not seen for what they truly are by most eyes. Instead, they are glamoured to appear as little more than an artistic design, as though the markings upon his skin are decorative rather than necessary.The Veil is protective, but not in the sense of making Aiden untouchable. It does not stop him from being harmed. He can still be struck, wounded, restrained, and put through pain. What it does do is preserve him. It keeps his limbs from separating, his stitches from failing, and death itself from taking hold. In practical terms, Aiden cannot be casually killed or dismembered, even though he can still suffer the violence intended to do so.Its protection extends into daylight as well. Sunlight weakens him, but the Veil shields him from the destruction it would otherwise cause.More than this, the Veil also acts as a suppressant.It numbs agony that would otherwise consume him. It softens the pain of starvation. It quiets the suffering in his body to a level he can endure. Without it, Aiden would not simply be hungry when deprived. He would be feral with pain, driven into madness by the violent suffering of his own condition.The Veil does not erase what he is. It makes what he is survivable.

Seeing Through The Veil

For most people, the Veil is absolute. Aiden's stitches look like little more than an unusual design across his skin, and the truth of what holds him together remains hidden.Only someone with exceptional magical perception should be able to see through that glamour and understand what the Veil truly is. For roleplay purposes, this should remain rare and meaningful rather than casual.


The infection . . .

Vampyrism

Aiden was not born a vampyr.At present, he does not know who turned him or how it happened. That history remains unknown, even to him. What is known is that he is ageless in appearance at twenty eight, and whatever transformed him did so at that point in his life.Aiden is still a relatively young vampyr. He is powerful, but he is not meant to be treated like a raid boss. His nature grants him enhanced strength, predatory instinct, regenerative capacity, and certain supernatural abilities, but he remains limited, especially when weakened by hunger.

His Vampyr Strengths

Aiden possesses notable physical strength and can move or lift several times his own weight. When weakened, that strength is reduced.He is capable of hypnosis and often prefers to use that gift in place of direct violence. When weakened, its duration and effectiveness are cut down significantly.He can use his blood to accelerate regeneration, whether in himself or, at times, in others. This too is reduced when he is hungry.He also possesses a cloaking ability, allowing him to hide himself and sometimes those nearby. This is not infallible and can be pierced by those with strong enough perception. He cannot cloak when weakened.

His Vampyr Weaknesses

Traditional vampyric weaknesses still apply to him, though not always in the most classic form.Hunger weakens him considerably. When he has not fed, his abilities are dulled, his strength is reduced, and his cloaking fails him.Sunlight weakens him, though the Veil prevents it from destroying him.Garlic and silver are irritants rather than fatal threats.A stake through the heart is not a viable killing blow, as the Veil would prevent such a clean ending.


Will forever be within him . . .

The Hunger Inside

Hunger is a permanent part of Aiden's existence.When he first woke as a vampyr, he woke starving. His first act of survival was to kill and drink from a wolf in the woods. That moment has never left him. To honor the life he took in order to continue his own, he took the surname Wolf.The memory of that first feeding still follows him. In moments of hunger, pain, or self-loathing, he remembers the cries of the animal he killed and the weight of what it meant to survive at another creature's expense.Aiden has never knowingly fed from a human. Whether he could control himself if he ever did remains uncertain. What blood he has consumed has come from that first wolf, and later from synthetic blood developed by Garlean scientists. With those supplies lost, he has spent long periods effectively starving himself.

His Diet

Though blood is his true diet, Aiden is not limited to blood alone.He is also able to feed on magic, including aether and fae magic. This can sustain him to a point, but it is not equal to blood. Feeding on magic is only partially effective and does not truly satisfy him the way blood does. Blood remains the only nourishment that properly fills him.This magical feeding does, however, have visible effects upon him, especially in the way it alters his hair.


Wild and ever-changing . . .

His Hair

Aiden's hair is one of the clearest outward signs that his condition is shifting.Its natural state is black and soft, with a fuller, fluffier appearance. When he has gone too long without feeding, it turns white. This visual change reflects deprivation, even if the Veil dulls the suffering that would normally accompany it.His hair is also affected by the Fae Wilds. Prolonged exposure to fae influence causes it to lengthen and become more feral in appearance, wild and untamed compared to its usual form. Time away from the Wilds gradually returns it to normal.Because Aiden can feed on fae magic, and because his history has become entwined with that realm, his hair serves as a quiet indicator of what has been sustaining him, where he has been, and how close to starvation he truly is.


Bound by blood . . .

Bloodbinding

Bloodbinding is not casual for Aiden. It is sacred.To become bloodbound is to feed Aiden and be fed by him in return. The act itself is not inherently sexual, but it is deeply intimate and often occurs during moments of closeness, trust, or vulnerability. Aiden does become aroused during bloodbinding, but the significance of the act is emotional, spiritual, and relational far beyond simple desire.When bloodbound, Aiden can feel his partner in the world. He can sense their heartbeat, their warmth, their fear, their excitement, and their distress. During intimacy this becomes even stronger, making the bond feel immediate and impossible to ignore.If the being he binds to possesses unusual power, that power can begin to bleed into him through the bond. Aiden is capable of sharing in that force to some extent, taking on traits or access that would otherwise lie outside his natural reach.For that reason, bloodbinding is not something he offers lightly. It is not a casual exchange, but a profound surrender of intimacy and trust.


Roleplay Notes

Aiden can be harmed.He can be wounded, overpowered, restrained, and put through pain in combat or scene work. The Veil does not make him immune to violence.What it does do is prevent clean death and bodily unraveling. Aiden is not intended to be casually killed off or dismembered in roleplay.Likewise, the truth of the Veil and the state of his body should not be immediately obvious to everyone. Most people should only perceive what the glamour allows them to perceive, unless they have a strong in-character reason and the appropriate ability to see beyond it.Aiden is powerful, but he is not meant to dominate every scene. His strengths exist alongside clear weaknesses, and much of what makes him dangerous is balanced by restraint, hunger, secrecy, and the constant burden of what he is.

Wild and Free . . .

The Fae Realm

Aiden's encounter with the Fae Realm would not occur until his encounter with his now ex-lover, a Fae Queen, Raine. For she would be the one to introduce him to the realm through the Garden and The Tower, an extremely guarded and protected entry point into the Fae Realm and it's Wilds.Though Aiden would believe the realm to be beautiful and strong, wild in nature and extremely unpredictable, he would not fear it, for it would not be powerful enough to harm him in any way due to The Veil always protecting him.Developments:
Aiden has since found a way to rip open the veil of the Fae Realm and it's Wilds without the help of Raine. Likely due to their bloodbinding when they were together. Allowing him to step inside the Realm at any point in time.


Exposure to The Wilds

Aiden's prolonged exposure to the Fae realm would cause his hair to grow rapidly and become more feral-like. Compared to his normal hairstyle which was soft and fluffy. And while away from the Wilds for long extended periods of time, will cause Aiden's hair to return to normal.


Classic and Violent . . .

The Sect

Heartbroken from his break-up with a Fae Queen Raine, Aiden would go through the daily motions until one evening he would notice a poster in a dark alley, 'Recruiting', for The Sect. Perhaps this would be a good job for him to keep himself occupied from the pain.


Hooks:

How Aiden fits into The Sect:1.) Aiden's vampiric side is suppressed, heavily within The Sect. Because he is a magically imbued vampyr, it is almost impossible for the normal eye to see that he is Vampyr. You would have to be a very powerful witch or wizard to see that he is Vampyr.2.) Aiden is by his own nature very manipulative and intimidating.3.) The Veil protects him by keeping his stitches hidden from the naked eye. This magic gives the illusion that his stitches are an artistic design on Aiden's body. They are holding his body together from a past trauma. During RP, your character must be a very powerful witch or wizard, or voidsent creature, all of high level, to see that these stitches are in fact keeping his body together and is not just some artistic design.


Role-Play Information:

For Combat Purposes
Aiden can be engaged in physical battle and can be harmed. The Veil only protects Aiden's stitches from being seen and from them being cut, his limbs from being dismembered, and from him being killed off. Aiden can be cut, stabbed, shot at, and can feel all forms of pain, including magicks.
He does have his own strengths and weaknesses as a vampyr, as well. Though, he hardly ever eats due to his current diet, which keeps him in a perpetually weakened state. You will know his power level by the color of his hair, of whether he has eaten or not.


A Yo-kai at . . .

Shoku

A Yakuza family of the Far East, specializing in all manner of dark tactics and elegant displays. The chance at a new life drew Aiden in.

Following the Fuji-Sora, his role within this new Family is to learn how to be a Chemist, to heal and empower those in need with his own blood. He'll move onto spiritualism later, as he may be able to utilize the Veil's power to contact spirits. And although accepted, Aiden's true nature is hidden within the Family, only those high up within Shoku know of Aiden's true form.Within Shoku, Aiden is now within Lunae's protection.

a Fae Queen and former lover, Raine

His Gaze, Was... Hypnotic

Aiden approached her, blood moon harvest eyes--seeing red--such a beautiful smile. Her pale skin glistened among the ambient light of the fireplace. They conversed for the first time. Glances here, smiles there. Flirtatious hints. "Want to take this upstairs? I have the perfect spot." She would suggest, and they would go, up to the second floor of this magical tower under the stars. She brought him to a corner and there they would converse for the rest of the night, amongst other things.After being satisfied by him, she hired him as an escort. Recommended highly by herself. A praise Aiden was not aware was so important to have. They would begin to spend more and more time together through out the week. Raine would drag Aiden around to a bunch of new places, meeting a bunch of new people like an owner who got a brand new puppy.

His Sex, Was... Transcending

When they weren't being bothered by anybody, they were with one another, intimately...One night, Raine took Aiden to The Garden and The Tower. The sheer electricity of the magic was astonishing. But it was not strong enough to pierce his protective veil, he was completely fine. They fornicated at The Tower, though this time it was different. This time, they would draw blood and flesh. Raine would draw flesh from her newfound lover and he would bite her drawing blood and licking it up, hungrily. Fae and Vampyr. What an astonishingly magical connection. They would blood bond, and the Fae magic would bless their union. Raine drank from him and he from her. They were now one.She gave him her heart to protect, a beautiful and magical flower in the shape of a Spiderlilly, and Aiden's heart would burst forth from his chest in the image of a blue faded butterfly. Their time together was perfect and special, Aiden thought.

His Love, Was... Raw

Balthasar is coming back from his trip today, Raine explained, excitedly. Aiden smiled softly at his Lover, he was excited for her.They met and--Aiden read Balthasar easily like book made of glass. He could see directly into his soul. This spooked Balthasar and caused Raine to stress.Balthasar began throwing a childish fit, that he was being replaced by Aiden. Perhaps he was. Afterall, Aiden had impressed Raine thoroughly and had been satisfying her in his absence.Raine asked Aiden to leave. Out of respect he would, but this would be the end. Raine had burnt the bridge between them. Aiden attempted to return Raine's heart and she ignored him. He crushed the flower within his fist until it crumbled into little pieces of dust. He threw it on the ground and dug it into the ground with his heel."Fuck the Fae."

Like a breath of fresh air . . .

Fiona

A shapeshifting vampyr, much like Aiden, has taken a liking to him.After the falling out with Raine, Aiden took a step back from love, but Fiona took it upon herself to break those walls down and flood his life again with love, like a broken dam. With the help of Fiona, Aiden has also taken on new forms and has mastered his shapeshifting ability.
Aiden and Fiona are bloodbound, as they have partaken from one another, and during a very seedy moment at that.
Be cautious though, Aiden is quite protective of Fiona. Who knows what he is capable of.Fiona is Aiden's current and only lover and life partner.

OOC Information:

Dain and I are really great friends, she has her own life and I my own. We are not in an OOC relationship, only IC. Please understand this and respect our privacy. Thank you.

As daily as possible

His Diary

On the Fifth Vial

Today brought with it something I have not felt in some time: cautious hope.Erudite called for me with word of progress and, when I arrived, he had seven vials prepared by his own hand. Seven careful attempts. Seven crafted possibilities. I confess, I did not know what to expect, only that I was willing to endure discomfort if it meant finding some answer at the end of it.The first did nothing. The second was vile enough to nearly offend me on principle. The third, however, was a cruelty all its own. For a moment it felt as though something inside me had decided to tear itself free — my stomach turning, my limbs burning, my body objecting to the offering in no uncertain terms. I very nearly laughed at the absurdity of it after the worst had passed. Nearly.And then there was the fifth.Bitter. Metallic. Unpleasant in the way medicine often is, but not wrong. Not harmful. Not hollow. There was something in it that felt… promising. Something that did not sit in me like poison or emptiness, but like possibility. A thin thing, perhaps. A fragile thing. Yet real enough for me to notice.I do not know what will come of it yet. I do not know whether this path ends in relief or another finely dressed disappointment. But today, for the first time in a while, I sat across from someone who looked upon my condition not with fear, nor disgust, nor hunger of his own — but with earnest intent to help.That alone is worth remembering.And perhaps more than that, it is worth trusting.


Of Longing and Hunger

Tonight the hunger came softly.
That is almost worse than when it arrives like violence.
There are evenings when it claws, when it tears, when I can feel the shape of want beneath my skin like something trying to split me open from within. At least then I know what I am contending with. At least then the suffering is honest.
But tonight it came like longing.
A quiet thing. A patient thing. It sat beside me like an old lover and whispered that I could be full if only I stopped pretending restraint was a virtue instead of a wound dressed in silk. There are nights my body forgets mercy, and nights like this where it remembers too well what it is to ache without reaching.
The Veil dulled the edge of it, as it always does.
I wonder, at times, whether that is kindness or theft.

his lamentations . . .

His Journal

On Feeling Too Deeply

I have often felt as though I were born with the wrong kind of soul for the world I inhabit.There is too much noise in it. Too much haste. Too much appetite mistaken for purpose. People move through their lives with such certainty that I cannot decide whether to envy them or grieve for them. To feel so little must be a kind of mercy. To touch lightly, lose lightly, love lightly. I have never known how.I do not think my affliction began with vampyrism, though it certainly sharpened it. Even before all this, before hunger, before the Veil, before immortality made every attachment feel like a future wound, I was already a creature inclined toward too much feeling. Too much noticing. Too much inwardness. As though my soul had been built to hear music others mistake for silence.Perhaps that is why the world has always seemed slightly elsewhere to me.
Not absent. Not unreal. Only not meant for the shape of what I am.
And yet I love it still.
That may be the cruelest part...

Forever unsent, unread . . .

His Letters

My Dearest Fiona,

There are things I have never said because to say them aloud would make them final.I have loved in ways that did not ask to be understood, only endured. I have loved with the sort of patience that feels holy when one is young and humiliating when one survives long enough to know better. If I have ever seemed distant, it was never distance. It was reverence. It was fear. It was the terrible knowledge that when I love, I do so as though I am laying my throat at the altar and calling it devotion.
There are people who touch the world and remain themselves.
I have never been one of them.
Everything alters me. Every kindness. Every wound. Every hand that lingers too long. Every absence. Every "almost". I carry things past the point they ought to have left me, and somewhere along the years I ceased believing this was a flaw and started understanding it as the price of having a heart that does not know how to close properly.If I never send this, let it at least be written.
There was love here. More than I knew what to do with.

Breaking apart the pieces . . .

Memory Fragments

White in the dark.
Breath where there should not have been breath.
A hand, or the memory of one, cold against my throat.
The smell of rain on stone.
Something wet across my mouth.
The terrible instinct to bite.
Then nothing.
Not blackness. Not peace. Only absence, clean as a knife.
I woke hungry.
Sometimes I think memory is not gone at all.
Only standing behind a locked door, listening.

A reminder of humanity . . .

Elegies

There is a version of me I sometimes mourn who never had to learn the language of restraint.He does not count his heartbeat against the quiet to make sure the hunger has not hollowed him too thin. He does not wake with the taste of want already waiting on his tongue. He does not stand before the world as though beauty itself were something he must apologize for surviving.
I do not know who that man would have become.
Kinder, perhaps.
Or crueler, for having suffered less.
It is easy to romanticize the unlived life, to crown it in gentleness simply because it was never tested. Perhaps he would have disappointed me. Perhaps he would have become ordinary. Perhaps he would have loved without depth and touched the world without reverence.
Still, I mourn him.
Not because he was better.
Only because he was spared becoming me.

Indentations and addendums . . .

Notes on Becoming

2nd Umbral Moon, 32nd Sun, Evening

She seeks a cure.I do not know that I believe in such things for myself.Perhaps that is faithlessness. Perhaps pragmatism. I cannot say. I only know that I have long since stopped asking the world to return me to what I was before. My concern is not purity. Not redemption. Not some lovely fantasy of awakening one morning restored and absolved. My concern is survival with dignity intact.I do not wish to become the thing I fear lives at the edge of me.If there is a way to sustain this condition without surrendering wholly to it, then that is enough for me. Enough to quiet the hunger. Enough to preserve reason. Enough to remain something closer to man than monster.And yet, if she should find an answer where I do not, I would not deny it to her.She is more advanced than I am. Stronger. Further gone, perhaps, depending on how one wishes to name such things. And still, though neither of us sired the other, we are bound. Inextricably. Unnaturally. Meaningfully.I would be lying if I said I did not fear what a cure might do to her. Or to us. Or to whatever unseen thread has tied one existence to the other. But love, loyalty, and care are not measured by how tightly one clings. If I mean to help her, then I must mean it fully — even if the outcome unsettles me.So let it be written plainly:I do not believe in fairy tales for myself.
But I will still walk beside another while she searches for one.


2nd Umbral Moon, 30th Sun, Evening

Last eve, with Emrys beside me, I found myself standing before yet another threshold of the strange.She came seeking a cure.
I came seeking something less noble perhaps, though no less necessary.
A means of recreating sustainable synthetic blood. Not some fleeting substitute, not a fragile answer doomed to fail me after a handful of uses, but something enduring. Something that might one day grant me relief without the humiliation of dependence, without the constant ache of hunger made into routine.Our path brought us to an occult order, one steeped in death, curses, and the sort of knowledge most sensible souls are wise enough to leave untouched. It should have unsettled me more than it did. Perhaps I am long past being unsettled by places that resemble the shape of my own existence.There, I spoke with Erudite.I expected skepticism. Amusement, perhaps. At the very least, some polite refusal dressed as curiosity. Instead, he listened. Truly listened. And when I placed the odd weight of my request into his hands, he did not cast it aside.
He agreed to take it on.
Before we parted, he placed his linkpearl in my hand and told me he would reach out should his work yield anything promising.For now, nothing is changed.I am still what I am. Still sustained by insufficiency. Still half-kept by hunger, by the Veil, by longing, by restraint.And yet.There is something quietly unbearable about hope once it has been placed back into the body.Even the smallest possibility can begin to ache.


Date Unknown: Too illegible to read, smeared

There is a difference between surviving and becoming.For a long while I believed survival was enough. That to remain standing, intact, breathing in whatever way I still breathe, was a triumph by itself. And perhaps it was. There are many who would have broken beneath what I was made to bear.But survival is a passive thing if left untended. It calcifies. It becomes routine. It teaches a person how to endure without ever asking whether they are still changing.I think I am changing.Not all at once, and not always in ways I welcome. There are shifts so subtle they almost escape naming. The way hunger speaks to me now. The way loneliness has changed shape. The way power no longer feels like fantasy, but responsibility. The way the idea of kinship no longer horrifies me for what it is, but for how deeply I understand the temptation of it.That may be the most dangerous threshold of all.To not merely fear becoming something more, but to begin, quietly, to recognize oneself in it.

Intention or insanity . . . ?

Scribbles

There is a kind of beauty that only appears after ruin.
I resent that I understand it so intimately.


Some nights I think hunger is only loneliness wearing sharper teeth.


The world keeps asking me to live in it as though I was made for it.
I was not.
I only learned how to linger beautifully.


There are silences that feel holy.
Then there are the ones that sound too much like being left.


If the Veil is mercy, why does it feel so much like being kept?


Hearts do not rot cleanly.
They stain.

His descent into madness . . . ?

Research Ledger

2nd Umbral Moon, 32nd Sun, Day & Eve

Trial Log: Synthetic Nourishment: Session I
Attending Alchemist: Erudite, Doctor
Subject: Aiden Wolf, Vampyr
Objective:
To test a series of experimental substitute formulations intended to provide nourishment, lessen hunger, and reduce the risk of bodily or behavioral decline associated with prolonged deprivation.
Samples Prepared: Seven total.Observed Results:Vial I
Appearance: Stable, blood-like consistency.
Taste: Mild, faintly floral.
Effect: No violent bodily rejection. No notable satiation.
Conclusion: Tolerated, but ineffective.
Vial II
Appearance: Acceptable.
Taste: Abominable. Soil and foulness, as though the Black Shroud had been strained through carrion.
Effect: No useful reaction. No nourishment perceived.
Conclusion: Ineffective. Strong aversion.
Vial III
Appearance: Red base with streaks of blue. Visually striking.
Taste: Not properly noted due to rapid onset of distress.
Effect: Severe gastric pain. Sensation of internal tearing or collapse. Heat in arms and legs. Unusual expulsion response observed shortly after ingestion.
Conclusion: Adverse reaction. Unsafe in current state.
Vial V
Appearance: Unremarkable at first glance.
Taste: Bitter, metallic.
Effect: Most agreeable of tested samples beyond neutral tolerability. Possible early signs of genuine nourishment response. Subjectively more satisfying than previous samples.
Conclusion: Most promising candidate. Worth refinement.
Session End Notes:
Testing did not continue through all remaining vials due to lingering abdominal distress following Vial III. Session was ended without incident. Subject remained stable enough to depart under his own power.
Recommendation:
Refine Vial V for greater stability, stronger nourishment, and longer-lasting effect. Avoid further use of Vial III in present composition.
Personal Addendum:
It is a strange thing, to sit before a row of glass vials and feel less like a monster than a man under care. Stranger still to find relief in that.

Secrets upon secrets . . .

Operation Notes

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